The Great Cookie Debacle of 2012

  • SumoMe

I sat down tonight in an attempt to write this week’s post, and I found myself in a battle of wills.  No doubt my writer’s block was a contributing factor.  I sat down on the couch – TV on as always – and literally had nothing to write about.  This is not particularly unusual, although to the reader, I’m sure my shit seems well thought out and all that.

So tonight, as I stared into space looking for inspiration, my eyes happened upon a tub of cookies.  Now, I’m not talking about some average run-of-the-mill chocolate chip cookies.  No, chocolate chip cookies would not even have registered on my radar.  I am talking about a tub of waffle crisps topped with white chocolate and peppermint chips.  Hello!!

Last week, we had the crisps with the milk chocolate.  In fact, I think there are still some in the kitchen.  They were good, but two or three a night were sufficient.  The white chocolate chip crisps, now that’s another story.  These things are amazing and truly delicious.  We have had them in the house since Sunday, and every time I see them sitting on the kitchen counter, I try every escape technique to not grab a handful.  Ugh!  In general, I try to watch what I eat, especially during the holiday season.  I am usually pretty good, but it appears tonight, I was in a bit of trouble with these damn crisps!

I’ve been pretty good, keeping them in the kitchen and managing to limit myself to a handful a night.  They’re small so don’t judge.  Somehow, the damn crisps made their way into my living room, where I found them sitting on the end table.

At first I tried to ignore them, but since writer’s block prevented me from distracting myself with my post, I was unsuccessful.  I decided having a handful was the best course of action.  Surely after eating my allotment of crisps, I could get back to writing my post.  I mean, we are not talking about potato chips here…I should be able to have just one.  And yet, after the handful, I found myself still staring at the tub.

I feel certain if I had found something to write about, this would not have been as much of an issue.  But sadly, I had nothing.  I just sat there staring at the tub of cookies.  I really wanted to have a few more – to further indulge in their buttery goodness – but I knew that wasn’t the right thing to do.  I guess I could have gotten off my ass and taken the tub to the kitchen, thus removing the temptation.  But no, I just sat there staring at the cookies until having another few seemed justified.

I sat there for who knows how long, absent-mindedly popping crisps into my pie hole.  Before I knew it, I was halfway through the tub.  At this point, I was riding quite the sugar high.  You would think after eating all that sugar, I would feel just crappy enough to prevent any more of this nonsense.  You would think wrong!  Nope, the cookies kept calling my name, tempting me to continue indulging.

I took the cookies into the kitchen, planning on leaving them there, and decided to stay to do some dishes.  Maybe the dishes were just an excuse to stay in proximity of the cookies, who knows?  What I can tell you is that the distraction of dirty dishes had no impact on what was turning into a full-blown cookie obsession.

I have only had this type of food compulsion a few times that I can remember.  There was the situation with the peanut butter and chocolate Girl Scout cookies when I was a kid.  There was an ugly incident with a jumbo bag of barbecue chips in college.  And my most recent debacle was with a bag of peanut butter cups during Easter of 2000.

I am not sure what triggers the food obsession.  I mean clearly there has to be a delicious treat handy, but that’s not so unusual.  For whatever the reason, sometimes I become absolutely enthralled with a food product.  I have found when this happens; the best course of action is to remove the temptation.  And by removing the temptation, I don’t mean throw the food away.  I guess I could throw away the offending food product, but that would be wasteful, and I was told one too many times as a child that there are people starving somewhere, so wasting food makes me feel guilty.

So, what’s a girl to do?  There really is only one solution…consume all of the remaining offending food product.  This has always worked in the past.  In addition to eliminating the temptation, I’m usually so sick of the offending food item, that it is dead to me.  I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this, but I could see I had no choice.

I sat down and promptly finished off every last one of the damn white chocolate covered waffle crisps with the peppermint pieces.  Towards the end, I had to eat through the pain.  I now feel like complete and total shit and may never be able to eat another cookie again.  Please, who am I kidding?  As I am now coming down from my sugar high, this shameful confession will have to serve as my post…


Please tell me I am not alone here.  Anyone else get the food crazies?

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  1. They really are delicious. I had only 1 at your house, this time … 😉

  2. We’re all guilty of it, girl! It happens to the best of us. Imagine if it were chocolate-covered matzah! Oy Vey!

    • Jennifer Coy says:

      Oh yes, I have dabbled in the chocolate covered matzo. The ones we tried were dark chocolate. They were so rich I could only have a few bites. My kid however went to town on them.

  3. This post is so funny! I have a container of the chocolate toffee wafer cookies from Central Market. They are so good! Im going to search for the white chocolate cookies! I cant wait to track them down!

    • Jennifer Coy says:

      So glad you enjoyed…I enjoyed writing it aside from tremendous sugar crash. If you like the chocolate cookies, you MUST get the white chocolate. They are heaven!

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